In the spirit of fun, and a little facetiousness, here are eight tips on how to annoy a literary agent. Please remember NOT to do any of the following:
8) Clichés work – they are over used for a reason. So, think outside the box and use them liberally.
7) Description and backstory – the more, the better. You’re going for length here. How else can you make the 100,000 word mark?
6) Expect details – Explain that you expect a detailed critique. After all, since you took the time to write it, the least they can do is provide detailed feedback.
5) One is enough – You’ve completed one manuscript, and that’s enough. You shouldn’t be expected to write anything else.
4) Deadline Defiant – They’ll get it when they get it. Your work is worth the wait.
3) Burn Bridges – If you’re not happy with an agent, be sure to bad-mouth them on all of your social media!
2) Continually check in – Agents love frequent check-ins. Be sure to phone, email, and fax them several times a day. Showing up at their office without an appointment is a definite plus!
1) Don’t do your research – It doesn’t matter what they say they represent. You can send them any genre. Surely a Christian agent will love reading your zombie romance!
Did I leave out any good tips? ;-) I hope your own projects are going well, and meet with much success. HAPPY WRITING!